Though I am a lot older than you, I can really relate to your Mom-longing on many levels. It’s been a little over 3 years for me, too.

I think about my Mom constantly, and it’s still a SHOCK to me that she got (pancreatic) cancer. I can’t even believe it happened. It hit my Mom really hard, as it was misdiagnosed for so long, and pain brought her to the ER/hospital, where they belatedly figured it out.

It turns my stomach when I think of those days. I still cannot even listen to music, as hospice (like you, they were only there about a week) told my sister-in-law to play Mom’s favorite music. I don’t even know if she knew it was playing. It was very surreal – the rich-voiced Dianna Krall, and Mom lying there semi-comatose.

Very surprised to find your site – and to know that someone else is dealing with Momloss in such a big way, after 3 years.

I have felt really alone in my extended grief. People simply don’t want to hear or know about it anymore. As I’m older and my Mom was older, it’s presumed that “it’s the natural order of life”…but that knowledge surely doesn’t make it easier! My Mom was very active, and she had lots of living left to do. She had purchased a lot of bathing suits on sale – some for me, some for her. We were going to use them that summer – at the pool, at the beach. She was interested in the political scene, too – like your Mom. My parents worked at the polls for several years.

Sounds like you are a really good Mom – your Mom would have liked that. I’m sure you are taking the good ways that she had with you, and transferring them to your girls.

I have saved this site to “favorites.” Hope you keep posting. Take care, Val.